When I became a mother thirty-one years ago, I was a bit more uptight than I am now. There is a bit of an age difference with my kids. They are 31, 26 and 19. I remember on one occasion, my daughter, who is the oldest, and her best-friend went outside to play with sidewalk chalk. They were probably four or five. I went out a little while later to check on them. I was horrified to see that they had drawn people with all the anatomically correct parts. I shooed them inside, gave them each a pitcher of water, and ordered them to go back outside and wash off their artwork. What if the mailman would have walked by? What would he think of my parenting? If this would of happened now, I would have probably taken a picture of it and put it on Facebook. I am sure my daughter would have been the next Frida Kahlo, if I hadn’t scarred her for life by shaming her artwork.
I am so much more lacks now. I don’t know if it is because I am older and more patient or just because I am older and too tired. I was working nights in a grocery store when my youngest son was sixteen. I got a text from him that was meant for my daughter. It read, “If Mom asks, I’m with you.” Now, if that would have been the older two they would have been grounded. However, we have learned from our mistakes and grounding only makes the parents suffer. I am much sneakier now and used this information to my advantage. He never saw it coming.
My kids do not see me as the cool parent that I am. Their friends do, but my kids are oblivious. I was riding in the car with my younger son and his friend one day and as I randomly shout out song lyrics. I saw my son cringing as I sing at the top of my lungs, “Bitch, I might be.” His friend was rolling in the back seat. It’s like I have Tourettes. Lucky for them I didn’t know anymore of the words. (or lucky for me that I didn’t know them.) Several years ago I was taking the boys to school. I always liked to play the radio loud in the car when it was nice enough to have the windows down. When I got to the high school to let my oldest son out he reached over and turned the radio way down. As he was getting out, and was out of reaching range, I cranked the radio back up and The Backstreet Boys sang, ‘As Long as You Love Me’. He was mortified. Mom 1 Kids 321 I am slowly catching up with them.