Monthly Archives: November 2016

Knot Four The Lite Harted

scrabble

 

I fined the English language vary difficult. Sometimes the things eye reed do not make since. Sew I just try two do mi best. If ewe are a teacher, I bet ewe arr ready to beet the screen wright now. Bee calm. This is just a test too sea if you can reed the hole thing without going to crazy. As Lovey Howell (Gilligan’s Island) wood say, “They’re their deer.”

This post is dedicated to my aunt, my sister and my high school English teacher.

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

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This year I am one of those people I normally find annoying. It is four days until Thanksgiving and I have already finished my Christmas shopping. (Ninety percent wrapped.) I can hear the boos and hisses folks, give it a rest. I have a really good excuse for my early shopping. This year I am going to be laid off from my full-time job in exactly ten days, ten hours and thirty-six minutes. Not that I am counting.

I am so ready for layoff time. Last year I spent most of the time with hubby while he was hospitalized twice and back and forth to doctor appointments. This year I have some small medical issues to deal with and hope to have carpal tunnel surgery as well. I also hope to finish painting the living-room that we started months ago. I can feel my sons eyes rolling as I type. He will say, “You are going to paint? You always start these projects and by start I mean you go buy the paint. Then when it is actually time to paint you have a hair appointment or you have to run to the store real quick. Great excuse to have the surgery so you can’t use your hands.”

Speaking of carpal tunnel, recently I was waiting on a customer and was struggling to ring up his items. The conversation went like this.
Me: I’m sorry, my hands are really bothering me today.
Him: Do you have carpal tunnel?
Me: Yes, and it’s gotten much worse. I guess it’s time to have something done with it.
Him: I had mine done years ago. (He starts flexing his hands.)
Me: I asked the Doctor to do one of mine when I had my knee done. I’m sure glad he didn’t because I had a hard enough time with my knee.
Him: I had a friend that had both hands done at the same time. Boy, I felt sorry for him.
Me: Was he married?
Him Yes, he is married.
Me: I feel sorry  for her,
Him: (Laughing) Yeah. Poor woman.

Ladies, know how pitiful a man is when they are sick. Just think if the can’t use his hands. You would have to do everything for him. I mean EVERYTHING!

Out of the Mouths of Babes and Other Random Acts of Children

kids

I have three grown children and have worked in the daycare profession for the past ten years. I hope you enjoy these funny things that kids come up with.

Three school-age boys were sitting together playing with Lego’s. Two started arguing. The older boy said to the two arguing, “Girls, girls, you’re both pretty.”

While taking a nap on his mat, a four-old boy jumps up and shouts, “Bad news everyone. Lamby got stuck in YoYo.” After asking him a dozen questions, thinking Lamby might be his dog or cat, I learn that he is talking about the cartoon, Doc McStuffins.

I had told a four year old for what seemed like the tenth time to stop climbing all over the chair he was supposed to be sitting on. I asked him what was causing him to be so wiggly today. He said, “Miss Paula, it’s too hard to be good.”

When my oldest son was about five I walked into his bedroom in the morning to wake him up. He was asleep on top of his blankets. Someone (my ten year-old daughter and her friend who had stayed over) had written on his back in black marker, ‘I see dead people’.

My oldest son, at age seven, came running into the house with a friend he had stayed the night with. They ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. A couple minutes later I hear, “MOM!!!.” When I went into the bathroom I find them desperately looking for fingernail polish remover. It seems the boys had their nails painted bright red by his friend’s two sisters, while they were sleeping.

One day I noticed that the baby, at age three, had some missing hair on the back of his head. I asked, “J, who cut your hair?  J said, “I’m not suppose to tell.” Two cookies later we found out my daughter, who was 15 at this time, had tried out dad’s new beard trimmer on him.

 

 

 

 

Sisters

ramona-beezus

Sisters

 

I don’t want to get into a political discussion because it just becomes hurtful and this is my happy place (usually). With that being said, Wednesday morning Facebook was blowing up with feelings, happy, sad, pissed, confused. I decided to avoid it for most of the day.  However, I did check my sister’s FB. She had posted a couple of jokes trying to lighten things up a bit. To my surprise one of her friends posted, “When will you shut up?” I immediately texted my sister and asked permission to put that woman on blast. She told me to let it go. How can I let it go? This is my sister. If anyone is going to tell her to shut up it should be me. That is my job.

 

So I keep my big mouth shut (or my fingers in this case). Later I get back on FB and notice that my “other sister” has put the woman in her place. I know what you are thinking, Paula, you only have one sister. Yes this is true. My “other sister” became our sister many years ago. I met her some thirty years ago when she came to work at the family business. On a daily basis people would ask us if we were sisters. We both had the same hair style, had glasses and wore the same clothing (jeans and t-shirts with the company logo). We would also take turns being pregnant. Finally after a few years of telling people, no we are not sister, we gave in and said yes we are. It became a running joke in our family if you wanted to know what was going on, “Ask Sharon!”, we would say. Because she was there on a daily basis and was a friend, she knew what was going on in the family.

 

When I was a child I had blond hair and blue eyes. The rest of the family had dark hair and my mom and sister had brown eyes. My sister would taunt me and tell me I was adopted. She would make me cry. I didn’t know what adopted was at that time but the way she said it, it had to have been horrible.  Now don’t feel sorry for me because I did get her back and was rather mean to her, according to one of our childhood friends.  She’s my Beezus to my Ramona. Always the good girl. I always thought she was a goody two shoes when we were in high school. Seems she was just sneakier than I was and never got caught. It must have been good for her having me for a sister. Took the target off of her.

 

To our sister Sharon, thanks for having our back!!!

To my sister Beezus, I want to be the first one to wish you Happy Birthday!

Love you both!

Sad Tree

half-tree

I suffer from seasonal depression. Beginning in September it hits me. By the time October is here I feel like the picture of the tree above. Like I am half a person. One side seems normal and the other side doesn’t exist. I have been unable to write for the last few weeks because I have nothing to say. The things that I have been thinking should be bleeped out. Since you can’t bleep text I have waited until I was up to it. In the last week the clouds have started to lift.

I have come out of it a lot quicker this year than last. Last August, a mother of one of my former daycare kids was brutally murder. That started my depression, followed by my baby boy (18 year old) moving out and menopause. After the holiday I started to feel better. Then my husband became very ill. After he came home from the hospital I had a purpose again, someone to take care of. In February, he was admitted to a different hospital. When he came home he started recovering very quickly. When he didn’t need me anymore I felt rejected and slipped back into my depressed state.

Through most of 2016 I have spent my time off work in my room. It really needs to be cleaned but I don’t have the energy to do it. I have been working between 55 and 60 hours a week so that could be part of it. I recently have been put on oxygen at night. It seems to be helping because I can actually spent time outside of my room.

The downside is I am sleeping deeper and woke up last week to my boss calling. I slept through four alarms. I had to hurry to work without showering. I told her I would probably be late for my next job too. I needed to go home and shower. She said, “Paula, you looked fine.” I told her, “I don’t feel fine. I still have on yesterdays underwear.”