Monthly Archives: June 2017

Wacky Wednesday: The Man in the Boat

  • A 73 year-old fisherman is out in his small fishing boat off the coast of Australia. He is sitting on his ice chest, minding his own business, when all of a sudden something leaps in the air and lands in his boat. As it lands beside him, something jabs him in the right arm. It is the pectoral fin of a Great  What Shark. It thrashes around his boat, battering and bruising him and knocking him to his hands and knees. He is able to get to his radio and call for help.

The Marine Rescue sends a launch boat and a helicopter. The Marine Rescue get him out of his boat and away from his 9′, 440 lb., unwanted guest. He is  taken to the hospital for treatment. the fisherman says this won’t keep him from going back out in his boat.

Really? If a Great White Shark landed in my boat, I’m pretty sure I would have leaped from that boat and swam back to shore in record time. As for going out again, I would, burn, sell or sink that boat. That’s kind of the way I see a haunted house. First site of a ghost, I’m gone. I wouldn’t even go back for my stuff.

This story remind me of the book, “The ‘Old Man and the Sea’. Anyone else see a resemblance?  Share with me any tales you have from the ocean. Dad, do you have one to share?

 

Two Hands Are Better Than One

If you have read my previous posts, you will know I had carpal tunnel surgery. I have to wear a brace on my left arm. This brace is hot, awkward and whoever designed it forgot that the person wearing it would only have one hand to use. My family is hiding when they see me coming with my brace in hand. I am very particular about how I want my brace. I want it to be comfortable. That means, I don’t want the Velcro rubbing my knuckles or it so loose that it falls off. I have tried putting it on by myself. I have used my teeth. I have tried bracing my arm against a table. It takes two hands! So Mr. Armbrace Maker, (you know it was a man who designed it), you suck!

It also have to be hand washed and air dried. It is in the constant state of filth. Dog hair on the outside because it’s almost impossible to get the dog hair off with a lint brush. Dirt and dried sweat on the inside. Luckily I use essential oils so it smells good. Last time I washed it by hand I couldn’t get it rung out with one hand. (There’s that again!) I had to put it in the dryer, which you aren’t suppose to do.  It came unraveled a bit. This time I’m going to try to wash it in my dishwasher. Yes, I know, Gross!!

Wacky Wednesday: That Darn Neighbor

Wacky Wednesday is a new feature that is dedicated to those wacky people who make our lives more interesting. This is meant to entertain and not depress. The news is so full of tragic things that are happening in our world. This week’s story is only tragic if you are the neighbor of a man in Tiverton, RI, who decide to pave the road to his house with clam shells, which is a good idea if you wash them first. He did not. He brought in truckloads of shells. The shells actually had pieces of meat attached to them.

The neighbors immediately started to complain. They protested with signs that said, “Honk if it Stinks”. They stood on the side of the road wearing doctor’s masks and gas masks. One lady on the news showed how close the road was too her home. All of this happened when it was cloudy and then………the sun came out. Cue the maggots and flies.  Can you imagine the smell?

After two weeks the city ordered him to remove the fly infested, maggot covered “road”. Watching the video was so real. It was like you could almost smell it. I personally would have just moved. How are they ever going to get the stink out of their houses?

Have you ever had a neighbor that did anything to irritate you? I remember one place we lived the lady across the street would walk her dog in our yard. She would let him do his business right in front of our picture window. Definitely not a Kodak moment. (Do people still call it  ‘picture window’ ?)

Piece of Cake

I survived my first carpal tunnel surgery. For some reason I thought it would be so much worse than it was. The day before I was to call and find out what time my surgery was scheduled for. I was very disappointed to find out I was suppose to be there at 11:00 am. What! I will have starved to death before then.  I did the only thing I could think of on the day of my surgery, set my alarm for 45 minutes before I was to leave. If I am asleep I wouldn’t be hungry, right? We were to leave at 10, my alarm was set for 9:15. I wake up at 8 and can’t go back to sleep. By the time we left for the hospital, I’m not really hungry but I am terribly thirsty and feel as if I have swamp breath.

I try not to breath on the nurse, who is asking one hundred and one questions that I’m sure I already answered in the preregistration phone conversation I had the week before. When she is done I am instructed to remove my clothes and put on the backless gown that comes with a visit to the hospital. “All of my clothes?” I ask. ” All of your clothes”, she responds. “But my arm is up here”, I say pointing to my arm that is well above my nether region.” I am sure she did an inward eye roll. (If that’s even a thing.) I did as she asked in the privacy of my curtained cubicle, with my daughter and mother looking on to make sure I wasn’t a rule breaker.  When she returns she hooks me up with not one IV needle but two. As I’m laying there uncomfortably, the guy from the anesthesiology department comes in and explains the procedure and tells me I won’t be asleep but will be groggy. Really? This is not what I signed up for. I don’t want to see or hear anything when my body is being cut on.

After awhile the doctor comes in to see me and I am please to see that he looks well rested. He excuses himself and shortly after I am taken to surgery. When I wake I am back in the out-patient room I started in. Yes, I said when I wake. Ok, what happened? Did I talk too much and annoy the surgical staff and they voted to go ahead and knock me out? For the record I did apologize before hand for anything I may say while under the influence of drugs. I know what I say when I am conscious so I am expecting the worse when I am not.

Everyone at the hospital was great. No complaints at all. I was sent home without pain meds, which I thought was weird. I had my daughter get me some Nyquil. I slept the rest of the day and went back to see the doctor the next day at his request. Everything looked good and I was scheduled to go back to him in ten days for the removal of my stitches.

By Monday I was back at work, popped a stitch and have heat rash under my brace but hey, no pain!

 

Getting My Act Together

 

 

I have been slacking more than usual lately. It could be the 55+ hours I am working a week or it could be the lack of ideas for my blog. I wanted to work ahead and write six or seven posts to have on hand. I am having carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand this week and not sure how typing one handed will work out. I seem to have my best ideas for a blog topic while I am in the shower. By the time I get out and get dressed that idea has completely left me.

 

Expect some changes in the near further. I am ready for some change, even though I hate change.