Tag Archives: work

“I’m Late!!!”

I opened one eye to look at the clock. I opened both and did a double take. “Oh no I’m late!”  I jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, grabbed my clothes off the top of the dirty clothes pile, quickly brushed my teeth. I ran through the house picking up my phone and purse on the way out the back door.

“Where’s my car?” I run back through the house and go out the front door. No car there either. Thinking it might be out back in the neighboring church parking lot, I run back through the house out the back door and in to the alley. “NO! WHERE’S MY CAR?”

By this time I am in full panic mode. You see, I work at a day care and am picturing in my mind the parents all gathering at the door waiting for ME. They will all be late as well, because of ME. I call both of my bosses and one of the boss’s husband. No answer! I get a text from one of them asking if I am ok. I immediately call her.

Boss: “Hello.”

Me: (By now I am sobbing.) “I over-slept, my car is gone, I don’t know how I am getting to the day care, all the parents are standing there waiting for me.”

Boss: “Paula, it’s Saturday.”

Me: “Oh.”

My Exciting Life


I went back to my full-time job after being off since the end of November. As usual nothing got done that I had on my list except two surgeries in December. My list included:

1.Go through my clothes and get out my winter clothes. Never mind it is almost Spring now.

2.Deep clean. What’s the point, it will just get dirty again.

3. Start exercising. We all knew that wasn’t going to happen.

I did make a promise to myself that I did follow through with. Get out more and be more social.  Here is my accomplishments:

1. I went to my friend’s 2nd annual pie party and combination birthday party. There was pie, lots of pie!

2. I went to a five year old’s birthday party. Cake and ice cream, yum.

3.  I went out of town with my daughter for something other than a doctor’s appointment. We went to get my new phone. She had been trying to get me to do for months. We did have a good time. We also went to the Hispanic store and got the best tacos!

4. I went to my friend’s that lives 20 miles away that I hadn’t seen in like three years. She rarely leaves her house except for work and neither do I. It makes it hard to get together.

5. I had several lunch dates with my mom and dad, my friend that I worked with for 20+ years and my childhood friend and our dads.

6. My sister came to visit! We spent time going through old pictures and spending time with our parents.

Another thing that was on my list was remodeling. Our living room is almost done but when J (youngest son) was putting a sink in one of out bathrooms, he discovered black mold. The walls and floor came out and new walls and floors are now in. Can you guess what I did to help? Absolutely nothing! I like to think my contribution to the project was staying out of their way.

I survived my first week back at work with every muscle aching and my carpal tunnel giving me fits. It was good to be back with my co-workers and in a regular routine. I got some new projects in the works, so hopefully I can be more organized and get things done.









While I Was Gone…

I haven’t posted on my blog for a while. Four days after Christmas I had surgery. (Robotic Hysterectomy)  My thinking was, while in the hospital I would catch up on my writing. I took two books hoping I would finish the first and start  the second. Before leaving for the hospital I had a horrible realization, what if I wouldn’t be able to do any of these things. Maybe I will be in PAIN!

Well this changes everything. Maybe I don’t need this surgery. Maybe I can put it off. Surely the doctor won’t mind me screwing up his schedule. My boss won’t mind if I worked the days I asked off. Ok, Paula, get a grip. You have been through surgery before and you were fine.  On the 29th of December, we headed to the hospital.

I had opted to stay the night. I live over an hour away from the hospital. (Our hospital had closed over a year ago.)  I don’t remember anything after I entered the operating room (Thank God). I  vaguely remember coming to my room, where my family was waiting for me.  After a while I was left to rest.  I napped off and on, then after some time I was able to get up and walk around.

Mid-afternoon the nurse came in to check on me, I told her I was getting hungry. She handed me a menu, showed me a number to call and said I can order anytime before 8 pm. Hot damn! Room service. I was a little shocked to see the menu had no prices.
I ordered a late lunch and then later an evening meal. I was shocked to see my cousin’s son deliver my supper. I knew he worked in the hospital. The way his proud grandparents had told it, I thought he might have worked in the operating room.  It was good to see him. He is a good young man. We had a nice little chat and then he was back to work.
I was released the next day. I went home and immediately took up residence on the couch. Feeling pretty good unless I had to bend at the waist. The next day was a blur. I took my pain pills every four hours as directed. I’m not big on pain and didn’t want it sneaky up on me. The next day I weaned myself off the medicine. I don’t like being in a fog worse than I like being in pain.
I went to the doctor the next week and was released to go back to work. I had pushed the doctor for the release since I would only be working three hours a day. Then I got to thinking. SHIT, now I have to go back to work. Paula, you dummy.
I had gone to the daycare a few days before I went to the doctor to say hi and pick up my check. I went into the school age classroom and was bombarded by children running toward me to give me hugs. Their teacher called out, Don’t squeeze Miss Paula’s tummy. One of the little girls, annouced to the other kids, “Miss Paula is going to have a baby!” Not quite, honey. Not quite.

Sad Tree


I suffer from seasonal depression. Beginning in September it hits me. By the time October is here I feel like the picture of the tree above. Like I am half a person. One side seems normal and the other side doesn’t exist. I have been unable to write for the last few weeks because I have nothing to say. The things that I have been thinking should be bleeped out. Since you can’t bleep text I have waited until I was up to it. In the last week the clouds have started to lift.

I have come out of it a lot quicker this year than last. Last August, a mother of one of my former daycare kids was brutally murder. That started my depression, followed by my baby boy (18 year old) moving out and menopause. After the holiday I started to feel better. Then my husband became very ill. After he came home from the hospital I had a purpose again, someone to take care of. In February, he was admitted to a different hospital. When he came home he started recovering very quickly. When he didn’t need me anymore I felt rejected and slipped back into my depressed state.

Through most of 2016 I have spent my time off work in my room. It really needs to be cleaned but I don’t have the energy to do it. I have been working between 55 and 60 hours a week so that could be part of it. I recently have been put on oxygen at night. It seems to be helping because I can actually spent time outside of my room.

The downside is I am sleeping deeper and woke up last week to my boss calling. I slept through four alarms. I had to hurry to work without showering. I told her I would probably be late for my next job too. I needed to go home and shower. She said, “Paula, you looked fine.” I told her, “I don’t feel fine. I still have on yesterdays underwear.”